The four stages of relapse

I've decided it's time for an (admittedly tongue in cheek) exploration of my emotional reaction to relapse. Tongue in cheek not only because I'm comparing to a very well known model normally called "The five stages of grief" but also because the evidence suggests that that model is a poor representation of what really happens to …

Feeling better and a few firsts

First some news -- I am happy to say that I am no longer suffering from constant headaches, have less dizziness, am not totally soaked when I wake up (though still sweaty) and generally seem to be improving. I still tend to need either an early bed time or a nap or both and have …

Thank you

Today was one of many days when I leaned outward for support and found many arms and hearts ready to receive me. I want to acknowledge how much of a difference they have made in my life and my experience of Lyme disease. For example, earlier today I was trying to work on a paper …

The PIC line is gone… what now?

I looked forward to today with such anticipation, I had no idea how much I wanted that line out of me until it began to approach. I guess that's my brain avoiding cognitive dissonance. In any case, I had grand plans for the day: a long bath without any plastic protecting my arm, and a …

3 days and counting…

Well it's 3 more days of IV antibiotics and then freedom. It's also the solstice, and the week in which I turned outward again towards the sun and hope and began to feel the seeds of some inner change take root. As I've experienced with past chronic illness, I had hoped for much more much …

CAT Scan, weaning, unweaning …

Probably one of the most difficult moments of this whole experience was the morning of October 4th, when I showed up at the hospital to get a CAT scan. After all the paperwork was done and I arrived at the lab, I sat down for the nurse to prep me, and she asked me if …