December 1, 2009 at 12:23 am (thoughts)
Tags: advice, disability, memory, resources, thoughts
It seems silly in retrospect, but one of the things that took me longest to integrate into my daily experience with Lyme disease was simple devices that would increase my mobility, strength, memory, and so on. Many of these things are inexpensive or even free, and all of them helped to reduce the impact of the symptoms I was suffering from.
Here are some top things that I made use of. Please comment on this post with your own ideas and maybe we can build up a nice list of things that anyone who is suffering from Lyme disease can draw from.
- Oven timer: This may not be obvious, but I left the stove or oven on and forgot about it far too many times before my husband and I decided that I should always turn on a timer if I was going to be cooking. Even if it didn’t seem necessary, I could always set it to 30 minutes or an hour from now. Better to have it go off and remind me that something was on the stove than to deal with a badly burnt pot or worse.
- Cane, with SEAT!: It took me far too long to purchase this one (perhaps out of self consciousness?). Once I decided to get one, I found a geeky solution that saved me over and over and over again — the flipstick. This cane has a built in seat that you can flip out. Once I had it, I no longer had to dread those long hallway conversations when someone is kindly asking how you feel our bringing up a work issue. Instead of leaving them ready to collapse, I would pull out my cane (if I wasn’t already using it to help me walk), and have a seat. What a difference that made!
- Parking permit: Ok, I’m an eco-geek, I’ll admit it. I was biking to work before I got sick, and I tried to keep it up after. The exercise was a good thing, and well intentioned, but far too often I ended up in a collapse either when I arrived or before the day was out when I pushed it physically. You can only ask for a ride home as a favor so many times before you have to make a change. For me that was first busing, and then driving and paying an arm and a leg in a pay parking lot far to far from my building, and finally, far far too late, a parking permit. I asked for a disabled one and had to fight a major battle to get it, but that’s another story for another time.
- Husband: Ok, this isn’t really an assistive technology, but it sure is a great assistance. I should generalize this to anyone you’re close to, what it’s really about is being able to say when you need help. Non-trivial, but crucial.
- Write things down: When you have cognitive impairments, writing things down is KEY. There are many ways to go about doing this, and sticky notes, emails to self, and so on are all ways of doing this. Putting notes where you will see them at the time you need to act is a trick that has been used by individuals with a variety of cognitive impairments (e.g. early-stage Alzheimer’s patients) for years. Learn from them. At least for me, anything I had to remember to look it might as well not have been written down. Some tricks of the trade: If I needed to know something first thing in the morning, I would set up a calendar entry that would txt message my phone to alert me (since I was unlikely to check my email or the calendar on my computer during the morning rush). Late at night, if not urgent, I’d send myself an email (often using my phone, which I kept near the bed), or write it big on a piece of paper next to the bed that I’d see in the morning. Sticky notes or other things right in front of the front door where I’d bump into them on the way out of the house were a big help. If anyone ever asked something of me when I couldn’t write it down, I’d give them the responsibility of sending me an email to confirm. If that wasn’t possible, I’d interrupt the conversation right then to write it down. Anything I needed to track on an ongoing basis went into a custom, known location. For example, phone calls to take care of household stuff, problems with the insurance company, and so on are tracked in a google spreadsheet that I can easily get at from anywhere. Work stuff that I might forget goes on a sticky on my laptop keyboard or on my screen where I will have to move it to start typing at work. I’ve even been known to put something in my shoes (can’t forget that when putting them on) and in a pot (where I would see it at dinner time).
- Rubber bands: These are incredibly versatile tools for twisting just about anything. I first discovered this years ago when I had a repetitive strain injury that left me with very weak and painful hands. Put them around a jar lid (for example) and then try twisting. It’s amazing what a difference they can make. If you need to, also use hot water to help things along.
There were a couple of things I never got that I probably should have considered. For example, a disabled driver permit from the state of PA would have allowed me to park almost anywhere when the need arose. Didn’t even think of this one until it was too late to matter, but it should have been top on my list right at the beginning. Equally high on my list is a wheelchair, at least a cheap model for moving me around in emergency situations such as some of the collapses I experienced at work. Emotionally, I never managed to work up the guts to go through with this one, I guess I didn’t need it often enough/bad enough. I’m still trying to understand why I resisted this so strongly. Perhaps the same forces that caused me to wait far longer than logic would dictate for even the assistive devices I did use affected my willingness to consider a wheelchair. Why is it that we only consider using these things when it seems we don’t have a choice?
So here’s my suggestion: this year, before the holidays, take stock. Ask yourself what would increase your mobility, energy, or other things that you care about. Remember that technology does not define you, that mobility and exercise may be separate categories of activity, that spending time and energy on the things you care about most is your goal, and that wasting energy on the rest is to be avoided. Remember that spending you on things that fulfill you is part of healing, and that quality of life not defined by your energy levels or even your pain levels but by spending time with the people and activities that make you happy. And then make or buy or ask for the things that will help you focus on being happy.
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November 1, 2009 at 8:53 pm (my story, thoughts)
Tags: family, thoughts
Those of us with chronic conditions spend a lot of time wondering how to manage their impact on our own ravaged bodies and spirits. But along the way, it’s hard to ignore the impact they have on our families. I know that has been a concern with me in my own family. Unlike the extended family which may or may not grasp what is really happening, the impact on the immediate family can be very direct. Even for them, though, a condition like Lyme disease can be confusing and invisible. How this affected my husband and our relationship is a topic for another post, but what I want to concentrate on here is how it affected my children. I have a (now) 4 year old and (almost) 6 year old in addition to a husband who have journeyed through my chronic condition with me over the last three years.
I have found myself writing about this more than once in the past few months, often in impassioned emails supporting friends or acquaintances suddenly thrust into a form of mothering they neither wanted nor planned for. For myself, perhaps the hardest part of this is finding the balance between putting myself first and protecting my children. Here is what I have learned over the years, and some details on how I coped. Read the rest of this entry »
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October 12, 2009 at 9:29 am (research, thoughts)
Tags: activism, lyme-wars, resources, thoughts
When you live in the nether world of questioned diagnosis, you spend a lot of time wondering if perhaps those doctors who say the problem is in your head, your lifestyle, and your diet are right. In my case, I was lucky to have a variable enough illness that I was constantly reminded that I was not the cause — as soon as I felt better I did more, no matter how short a time it lasted. I never had to think about it, plan it, or convince myself to do so, I just DID.
Lyme disease patients at least have the existence of a known pathogen to hold onto when they fight the external discrimination, and associated internal questioning, that characterizes their disease. For those with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (known popularly as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), until this week, that did not exist. On October 8th, the journal Science published an article by Lombardi et al. titled “Detection of an Infectious Retrovirus, XMRV, in Blood Cells of Patients with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.” (also see this discussion by the author of Osler’s Web). Pamela Weintraub, in her blog Emerging Diseases reflects on the continued efforts of physicians and researchers to label diseases like Lyme disease and Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) as pyschiatric illnesses. This is a form of discrimination and institutionalized myopia that has systemic negative affects on patients. It stifles research, reduces access to treatment, and forces patients who are already fighting a difficult disease to also fight for respect. Perhaps worst of all, they must devote mental and physical energy to all of this, while simultaneously fighting the internal battles necessary to keep believing in themselves despite a lack of definitive anything and constant encounters with naysayers. Read the rest of this entry »
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September 6, 2009 at 9:55 pm (my story, thoughts)
Tags: activism
Our local paper had an update about Lyme disease this week. The impression it left the reader with was that there is “nothing new here”, there will be a small number of new cases this year in Allegheny county (20-30 I think the article said) and generally not to worry. Considering that this same paper had some relatively comprehensive articles about Lyme disease (e.g., this 2001 article), it ticked me off to see them waste space on something so uninformative rather than discussing tick safety education or talking about the real impact of Lyme disease on the region. I decided to write a letter to the editor of the paper.
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July 31, 2009 at 9:36 pm (research, thoughts)
Yesterday was a landmark day for the Lyme community: An opportunity to try to sway the Infectious Disease Society of America (IDSA) toward a more generous description of Lyme disease and its treatment. The IDSA guidelines are curretnly used to guide the treatment decisions of many doctors from specialists (especially Infection Disease doctors) to family physicians. Insurance companies also sometimes use these guidelines to determine whether to pay for treatment. “Lyme Literate” doctors (termed LLMDs) and groups such as the International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society (ILADS) oppose these guidelines, and it gets pretty nasty at times. I’ve termed this the “lyme wars” in this blog and have a page full of links that illustrate both sides of the issue. Much of my first year with lyme disease was spent trying to figure out what to believe in the face of passionate researchers from both sides writing articles that argue for each perspective, passionate doctors from both sides telling me not to believe the other side, and passionate organizations from both sides fighting to teach patients and doctors alike what to believe so that they will not be mistreated.
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May 20, 2009 at 9:32 pm (my-son, thoughts)
Tags: family, thoughts
I’ve been trying to think of the right way to say thank you to my mother for over two weeks now (ever since I realized mother’s day was coming up :). But it was only recently that I finally realized what I want to do. This post is for her.
Let me start by describing some of the things she and my dad have done for me this year. Perhaps the most important, to me, is the fact that they seem to have cured my children of a series of immune dysfunction. The children started having colds that they could not lick, ear infections, and even a sinus infection once, the same year that I became symptomatic. For many months of each year they were sick more days than they were healthy. Doctors all told me not to worry, they were in the range of normal. I of course continually fought with the fear that they had Lyme disease like me. My mother felt that our basement smelt moldy, and offered to buy us a device she had found, called a Wave/Humidex. I was skeptical, but she insisted (and paid) so I had it installed. The same month it was installed, my children went back to normal (this was October) and they have been fine ever since. My interpretation is that the mold bloom we had got all of us sick, and in their case, continued exposure to mold kept them symptomatic up until this device was installed. Perhaps it gave me a boost too.
Then my mother-in-law developed extreme pain severe enough to put her in the emergency room. Five days later, the hospital was still flumoxed. My mother suggested a fairly obscure possibility that she was familiar with because it sometimes affects pregnant women. She also knew a diagnostic test for it. No one here had heard of the test, and they mostly ignored the suggestion … but in the end, with no other ideas, they tried the test (walking backwards relieved her pain) and ended up giving the diagnosis my mom had suggested days before. Thanks to her help, my mother-in-law left the hospital with the correct support in terms of physical therapists. Read the rest of this entry »
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May 12, 2009 at 10:16 am (symptoms, thoughts)
Tags: flare-up, headache, thoughts
The last two days have been trying. Yesterday, a flare up started while I was at work and quickly got so bad that I could not keep my eyes open. Luckily I was already sitting on the comfortable couch of a good friend at the time. I was able to enter that state of waking sleep that my body demands at times like that without qualms. As things slowly improved, I asked for some soup and we propped me up and ate lunch together. When I had to leave for an off campus doctor’s appointment (something I couldn’t cancel) he found a nice piece of wood and drilled a hole in it and presto! I had a walking stick. Another friend gave me a ride to the doctor’s building, and the walking stick helped me get around where the car couldn’t.
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May 6, 2009 at 1:28 pm (thoughts)
Tags: resources, technology, thoughts
Having Lyme disease is a debilitating experience, on that many of us agree. Many of us also believe passionately that it is possible to improve our lot or even cure ourselves. As a result, we often focus much of our energy on finding the right doctor, the right medication, the right path forward. I certainly have. The rest of my energy typically goes toward getting through each day and in fulfilling and finding joy in my obligations at home and at work.
What I failed to realize for far too long is that there is something else worthy of my attention that can also help me to improve, to get through each day, to manage my situation. I should have realized long ago … that there are tools for getting through tough moments, saving energy, and otherwise assisting myself through the days. Read the rest of this entry »
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March 25, 2009 at 7:13 pm (thoughts)
Tags: feelings, thoughts
Today was one of many days when I leaned outward for support and found many arms and hearts ready to receive me. I want to acknowledge how much of a difference they have made in my life and my experience of Lyme disease. For example, earlier today I was trying to work on a paper and a headache struck. I felt tired and ready to give up. And then I thought, maybe I just need someone to remind me of how and why I am strong. I talked to a friend on instant message, asked for help, and they freely gave of their time and support.
So I want to take a minute to step back and write a letter of thanks. It will do me good and maybe some of the people who deserve it will read this. Read the rest of this entry »
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March 4, 2009 at 9:29 am (thoughts)
Tags: activism, thoughts
People with disabilities are a unique minority, a group that any of us can join at any time. I first identified with the group as a graduate student in the 90s when my hands were so non-functional that I had trouble doing many basic things … and no one could tell me if/when I would improve. Thanks to the advocacy of many individuals with disabilities, the Americans with Disabilities Act, (and related legislation) has set accessibility standards [1], and I soon learned, for example, to press the automated door-opening button at the front of my university building.
I will never forget the day that button failed me: A stranger became very angry on my behalf, opened the door, and went on to complain to the building manager. I was shocked, upset to think of myself in the terms he obviously did. I had an invisible impairment that, at the time, some people did not believe existed (echoes of the future!). Although I was high functioning, it had eliminated my ability to play the viola (a beloved hobby) and, from the perspective of a graduate student in Computer Science, seemed to make my career of choice next to impossible.
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